Sunday, December 6, 2009

SAHD Understands Single Parents

For the last few days I have been a SAHD. For those that don't know what that is, it's a Stay at Home Dad.

To be fair I have been working too, but with my wife away I have been living a double life.

Carpool in the morning and afternoons, making breakfast(which I do anyway every day), lunches, and dinner, laundry, iron a brownie patch(damn thing won't stick), dish washer, homework review and whatever else. The pinball machine flipper needing to be fixed is still waiting though.

Then work from 9:30-12:30, 1:30-3 then whatever else after 8 or so every night.

So do I miss my wife? Has it been hard? Do I appreciate her more?

My friends today asked how I am doing, do I need help or how am I coping.

Did I mention my grandfather went back in the hospital also the other day after his valve surgery, which went well 2 weeks ago, but he has some fluid issues in lungs and heart.

The answer is I appreciate more what my mom went through as single parent raising us.

The issue isn't that I miss my wife, I can and do cook and always have, but you need a respite sometimes. Just to go shopping for simple things or even food. When you have little kids (2,5,7) you can't just leave them at home.

The hard part is when the baby is up at night as only you are there for the morning...and I don't drink coffee.

Luckily Lotusphere (college did too, but that was an eternity ago) helps! Getting 2-4 hours of sleep a night for a week proves one can do anything if they want to.

My Mom has helped by coming over on days I have 2nd carpool duty to wait for the sleeping 2 year old. Otherwise I'd have to wake her up which might not be a good thing every time. Thanks Mom.

I do feel sorry for all the guys out there that can't survive when their wife is away, what kind of a man are you then?

Those of us that travel for business and leave our spouses at home probably rarely get to experience it in reverse. If nothing else it is enlightening and if you have friends that are divorced or widowed with kids do them a favor this holiday season and help them. Take their kids with you if you go to the movies or something fun, invite them to a bbq or meal, have a kid sleep over at your house and try to sort the rest of them out too so your friend gets a real "night off". Maybe just give them a call and go watch the game at their house or bring over a beer or cigar or wine or whatever since they are not likely to get out much.

Trust me they need it and will be really thankful and happy for the offer.


  1. I'm sure my husband can relate! I'm the one who travels on business, and he's been home-- quite a bit, and with his broken foot-- this fal while I've been working hard (ok, and having fun) in Edinburgh, Brussels, and Milan!Mary Beth Raven

  2. MBR, I am sure he can. Hope his foot is getting better too!