The Social Zombie

I was working in the lab late one night, when my eyes beheld an eerie site, a new social site popped up asking me to join them.

What crazy thing is this I thought? Join us it said. Join them? There must be social sites I bet even for vampires, werewolves and zombies. (Yes they are real sites, may not be safe at work for obvious reasons.)

Social sites? Don't they know people have work to do? Talk to your buddies after work or on the weekends.

It was then I heard a knock on the lab door and opened it to find one of the guys in a vampire costume. It being Halloween and all, I laughed and asked what he needed, aside from my blood.

He replied, "we don't do that anymore". We suck people's lives away by their social sites they visit. It's much less headache for us.

Okay, how can I help you again I asked?

We have noticed you rarely use any social sites. It is your prerogative, but you are hurting my fellow, shall we say, comrades. I was sent to outline to you all the great things you could be doing and helping us at the same time.

I'll bite, what do you want me to do? Post a picture? Tweet?

Nothing that simple, he said. We need you to help our zombies mobilize.

Huh?

You heard me, we need the zombies to organize. They have started bugging us, we the undead, but we have better things to do. Since the zombies all follow whatever the hottest social site is, we want you to start posting misinformation. Something like how Google has Zoggles, some reader for zombies that have lost their eyes.

Are you crazy? Why would I do this? I would be lying and not be authentic at all, which is what being social is all about.

At this, he fell over laughing.

That's a good one, authentic, nice, who put you up to that? Some politician?

Look, try it, you might have fun, anything is better than hanging out in a lab all by yourself waiting for a vampire to visit.

He had me there. Off I went to wreck havoc with the zombies.

Happy Halloween because even Social Media deserves some fun.

Feeding the Zombies Social Media

Did you know that searching on Google for Social site for zombies has 23 million hits.
Sadly, vampires only have 5.9 million and werewolves 3.1 million.
No point in looking up social sites for Monsters, that's Lady Gaga's domain. 

How the times have changed? Just imagine what Bela, Boris or Lon would think.

When did people start caring more about zombies?

Could it be it happened when people started realizing their world could very well be from The Matrix? Or maybe there is just something extraordinary about zombies?

Zombies are cool then, so what does that mean to social sites?

Let's look at this for a few minutes:

Zombies seem to always head to the um, food. They must all share a primal instinct to follow the  herd, perfect for social sites and the minions that follow them.

Zombies eat out, often, and they let everyone know about it, loudly. They must post to a dozen social sites at least. Have you seen how these, ah people, er things, congregate.

Zombies have no brains, that is why they seek yours and mine. Which works for social sites, they are consumers...not creators. Can't create without any brains now can you?

Zombies never sleep, although they evidently do get weak, just like us when they have not eaten for a while. Perfect for that all consuming, must know everything going on in the world attitude some people perform on social sites.

Zombies don't care about the new Apple device or Android or Google app, they are laser focused on what they want and need. Brains, food, blood, whatever it is, so you technology folks may miss out, but almost everything else has evidently millions of eyeballs sockets to feed advertising.

Zombies are very hard to kill, or so I am told, which means they keep coming back for more, half a torso, no arms, whatever it is, they never give up. Just like marketers.

The moral of the story is don't be a zombie, be creative, be a creator, not a consumer.

Happy Halloween to all you zombie hunters and social enthusiasts.

(sorry for the font color, thought it would be appropriate)